Raidan Repression

Raidan Repression

by danluffey

Raidan Repression
Electrobullet Repression

1: [The year 2021...a time in which even toilet paper possesses its own artificial intelligence. Recently, the earth has found itself covered in a new type of cosmic radiation that mainly causes disturbances in electronic machinery. This has given rise to a large number of electronic disasters caused by disturbances or malfunctions in home electronics.
2: [The sheer number of disturbances proved too great for the police and other public service organizations to handle, so the government approved a plan to allow work to be contracted out to the public. Following this was a mass outbreak of companies employing servicemen equipped with supercharged EMP weapons that could be used to suppress the electronic disasters.
3: [This is one of those companies...
side: EMP = electromagnetic pulses
sign: Suzushiro Electronic Disaster Service
4: Here's your first job.
5: OK!

1: Shikishima Reona, reporting in for her first day of service!
2: I will suppress the rampaging refrigerator as quickly as possible!
3: Yeah! I can do it, I know I can...
4: What's wrong?
5: Do I...have to do my first job all alone?
6: You'll get a support robot.
7: Hyaaa!
sfx: slap

1: That's one fat ass you've got there...
2: Don't worry, though, I'm here to support you now, so brace yourself!
3: Also, did you know that equipping adult toys can make you restless and more inclined to pucker?
sfx: haaaaa
4: Off you go, then.
sfx: clang
5: Huh? With this thing? Wait...
6: Whaaaaat?!

1: Hey!
2: Why the long face? I'm a brand new model, you know!
3: What's not to like?
4: Your personality!
5: The psychology test said that a personality like this would fit best with you, though.
6: What? There's no way that could be right! Who would want a robot that sexually harasses...
7: But it was company orders!
8: /Company orders!
9: Ggh...
10: Constipated? How about some anal beads?
sfx: crash

sfx: screech
sfx left: step
sfx right: gsh
sfx bottom right: slam
1: Are you from SEDS?
sfx: jerk
2: Yes! I've come to suppress the rampaging refrigerator!
3: Oh, good.
4: This is an authorization for the use of force. Please sign it.
5: This is an old abandoned factory in a mountainous region, and we've already evacuated all the people nearby.
sfx: skritch
6: Here!
7: Now, I'm going to evacuate myself, so please take care of the rest!
sfx: dash

1: What a scaredy-cat.
sfx: click
2: I'd be scared too if my refrigerator started going on a rampage.
3: Hmmm...
sfx: rumble
sfx: chik
4: Analyzing environmental data...
5: Alright!
sfx: click
6: Huh?
7: What?
8: No matter how many times I run the scan, it keeps telling me our target's in the sky.

1: I'll transfer the data into your scope's targeting system.
2: Your scan must be messing up. I thought you were state-of-the art, you piece of junk!
3: What'd you call me?!
4: Forget it, I'll just aim by myself.
5: Huh? You want to try and hit it without CPU navigation? That's one trophy you'll never get!
sfx: Keh!
6: Machine brains, or their CPUs, are extremely small! It's way different from trying to shoot a human! The only people who can hit those kinds of things using nothing but their own eyes are super elite snipers!
sfx: gshah
panel 4 bottom text: Microwave Example
7: But you didn't think about any of that, did you? You're just blabbering on about whatever comes to mind...maybe I should pull out a gag ball and shut you up!
8: You know...you're a machine, so it doesn't really make sense that you would be so perverted.
9: ding

sfx: gyaaaash

1: Today's lunch will be human meat and 2015 model hydrogen engine mincemeat! Ding!
sfx: crack snap

1: Why is it so big?!
text: Now analyzing
2: How should I know?! You should be complaining to the person who gave me the info on this job, not me!
3: /Hmmm...so it froze its surroundings, like a refrigerator should do, and then connected itself to that mountain of illegally dumped garbage and grew.
4: Frozen metal is easier to break...
5: This is really bad! We should contact the boss and report on the situation!
sfx: clang
sfx: chik

1: Now, I will teach you how to use mincemeat to make a hamburger.
2: First, let's gather the ingredients. Onions, eggs, bread...
3: Woah...you're gonna fight that thing?! But you're fresh out of your three-month training period! A total amateur!
4: If they wanted me to do this alone, then it must mean I can!
5: The bullets' charge limit is 100m.
6: The fridge is...a bit far from here,
7: so I'll shoot at its legs and drop it.
8: But before that...
9: I need to get its arms!

1: Firsssht...
sfx: bsssh
sfx: snap
sfx: boom
sfx: blam
sfx: kraboom
2: slice the onyooons...

sfx: slide
1: You did it! You have big tits, so I expected you to be a total idiot!
2: Gwehh!
sfx: whack
3: Mix these ingredients together, and...
4: Ahh, I hate this job...I hope one of my lottery tickets hit...
5: ...hm?
6: /I wrote "130kg refrigerator" instead of "130,000kg refrigerator!"

1: /That means this is my mistake!
sfx: slip
sfx: fssssh
2: Mmm.
sfx: click beep flash
3: There WAS no mistake.
4: Ahh, subsection chief!
5: Got any people sitting around who need some more work?
sfx: crackle snap
6: Knead it well.

sfx: beep beep
1: Yes?
sfx: snap crackle crash
2: Ah, have you begun suppression already?
3: Yes, I'm working on it right now.
4: I figured out that our "client" made a mistake...and it seems like this target is a bit too much for one person to suppress alone.
5: Therefore, I want you to evacuate 800m to the convenience store in the south.
6: I'll be sending in reinforcements, but I know you aren't used to working with a team, so I want you to come back to HQ.
7: Make sense to me! Let's split!
8: /You can go now. And you don't need to bother coming back in tomorrow.

1: The reinforcements can do as they like,
2: but I am going to continue my work!
3: Hey...
sfx: click
4: Wait..
5: Why are you being so uselessly stubborn?!
sfx: snap
6: I have to show them that I'm capable.
7: Huh?
8: Up until now...
sfx: fwoom
9: The air will leak out, and the hamburger will stay together when you cook it.

1: the reason I kept getting fired from all my jobs was because I didn't convince my employers that I was capable!
2: You can't use Excel or Word, so you're fired.
3: We're restructuring our staff, so you're fired.
4: We've gone bankrupt. I have to go sell some of my organs now, so I have no choice but to let you go.
5: Plump girls aren't-a my-a type. You're-a fired.
6: I think it's OK for you to punch the last guy. (And what's with the accent? There's no way he's not Japanese...)
7: People can't live on their own.
8: That's why they need to work and connect with others...
9: With society...in other words...
10: Tossing them like this can also help.
sfx: fwoosh

sfx: crash

1: /There goes our escape route.
2: It's all over...oh, the humanity...er, robotity!
3: In other words...
sfx: rumble

1: In other words, it only means one thing!
2: Waah! Are you nuts?!
3: In order to keep my job,
4: I need to convince them that I'm a capable employee!
sfx: chik

sfx: blam
1: Ta...take your time so that the center gets cooked well...
2: to...too...
sfx: clraaaaanggsssh
3: Look at all those alpha waves coming out from her brain...she's really concentrated!

1: too...!
sfx: bzzzt
sfx: snap

sfx: crash

1: What now?
2: Fufufu...

1: Because of that job,
2: I became a manager within a day!
paper: Letter of Appointment
April 10, 2021
Shikishima Reona
You are now a manager. We look forward
3 (top words): Yay! Yay!
4: In other words...
5: They'll promote you, but they want you to keep taking care of big targets like that on your own.
6-7: Huh?